family of four sitting next to each other and smiling

FAMILY

STORIES

This is a space where we share real experiences from the families we’ve supported. Each story offers different insight into the challenges families face, the strengths they bring, and the meaningful progress made through our work together.

two women sitting next to each other leaning their heads against each other

These stories highlight the impact of Functional Family Therapy and the dedication of our teams, showcasing how tailored, evidence‑based support can help families reconnect, rebuild, and move forward with confidence.

The stories have been written in collaboration with families. We hope these stories offer both understanding and inspiration, shining a light on the positive change that’s possible when families feel heard, supported, and empowered.

FAMILY STORY 1

Haringey - March 2026

“[the therapist] genuinely showed a lot of love and respect to every person in the family and even the more distant people in the household liked her a lot. She genuinely helped a lot more than she’ll ever know."

  • When I first met K, she was 16 and living at home with her mother and three older sisters. The family are Black British and live in London. The family have always been very loving and close. However, they acknowledged their communication with each other was not always productive and at times difficult conversations or decisions were avoided.

  • Before support began, K had been sexually exploited online and given drugs by  the perpetrator. She nearly died as a result of an overdose, which was a deeply traumatic experience for both her and her family. 

  • Our work together spanned five months. From the beginning, it was clear that this family cared deeply for one another. The focus was on strengthening communication so they could make full use of that love and support. We explored ways to express feelings openly, identify emotions beneath the surface, and speak in a calm, non-blaming way. Reflective listening became an important part of sessions; encouraging family members to truly hear one another rather than try to fix things or offer advice. We also introduced decision-making skills, weighing up pros and cons of choices both at home and in the community.

    The family took to these skills really well and began using them straight away in everyday life. It allowed them to proactively check in with each other and create a safe, open environment where they could talk about anything. Talking and openness increased safety and support. If there was ever a wobble or concern, they would speak about it and make a plan together as a family.

  • There have been no new incidents of concern for K in the community. She has started work experience at a café, reflecting her interest in cooking. K and her whole family are now on a waiting list for further one-to-one therapy, and they feel confident using the skills they learned to support this next stage.

    Things are still not easy at times and the family recognise they are still recovering. However, when challenges arise now, they are able to talk things through, support each other and respond in ways that strengthen connection, safety and trust.

     

    I asked - what advice would you give a family who hadn’t started this and were ambivalent about it?

     

    “For me, a single mum, it has been a positive experience. Of course, the reason we were referred to you was a negative one. At the time, I was resistant, I didn’t know if I could cope with taking on anymore. Can I take on this other thing? We had so many other things going on at the time, it was like how can I take on this new thing now? But, this was the best thing out of everything that could have taken place. We had the court case and all of that…but I think this has been the game changer. This support has made a big difference. Even if it feels like you’re at your peak, you can’t talk anymore, you can’t do anymore- but this is the best thing to do. And all the other support and help we have got through this, the resources. So I would say, be brave, be open. Accept it. That’s what I would say’.

“This support has made a big difference. Even if it feels like you’re at your peak, you can’t talk anymore, you can’t do anymore- but this is the best thing to do.”

young boy sitting with hands close to face

FAMILY STORY 2

Redbridge February 2026

“Jeremiah is now an adult and away from criminality and substance misuse. I feel so proud of him now.”

  • Jeremiah aged sixteen and his mum Naomi were referred to functional family therapy service by their social worker in 2024 after concerns were reported regarding Jeremiah being criminally exploited.

    Jeremiah had recently been excluded from college after he was arrested for carrying a knife.

    Jeremiah had frequent periods of time where he was missing from home where he would tell his mum he was at college but would then not return for three of four days. When Jeremiah did return, he would often only return to sleep, shower and then would be straight back out again.

    Shortly after Jeremiah was referred to FFT he reported being kidnapped by three adult males who dragged him into a car and then beat him up and took his bike and other belongings. Jeremiah needed hospital treatment following this assault.

  • Mum stated that at the time of the referral that she was feeling very stressed, especially as she couldn’t understand Jeremiah and that he also could not understand where his mum was coming from.

    Mum expressed that “I am single mother to two children with ASD and learning difficulties, so this was all very overwhelming. We couldn’t communicate properly and it was very hard. I needed something or someone who could support and help us. I was seeing my family really going down and I was scared to lose my son.”

    Mum also expressed “I also needed to work on myself as sometimes I would just respond in temper. One of the key things that I remember was learning to communicate and for us both to really listen to each other. It was just argument after argument. I would just take my position as a mother and not listen. I learned more about how to approach Jeremiah, and we learned to calmly talk about our feelings and opinions without fighting and arguing. Even if we disagreed, we learned to communicate this in a calm way.”

  • I can see now that the approach I take with Jeremiah is different and we now feel able to control our emotions and anger better, so we are able to listen to each other. This has also helped with my other children Danielle and Tanisha so that we can now always find a way to listen to each other and talk.

    FFT has helped Jeremiah to recognise some of the dangers and the grooming that he was experiencing. He was able to listen to the worries we had for him and recognise how he was being groomed and manipulated. This helped him to see things more clearly and also to know who to trust and who not to trust.

    Even after therapy there was a journey for us to get away from exploitation, but rather than doing it alone we did this together and are now coming out the other side to a place of safety.

    Jeremiah is now an adult and away from criminality and substance misuse. He is working and focused on his career and a positive life for himself as a young adult. I feel so proud of him now. 

“We learned to calmly talk about our feelings and opinions without fighting and arguing. Even if we disagreed, we learned to communicate this in a calm way.”

FAMILY STORY 3

Tower Hamlets - March 2026

Aria had a positive experience with her FFT therapist, who she described as 'really nice and friendly.'

  • This case study takes you through the journey of Aria and her family when working with FFT. The family committed to seventeen hours of therapy sessions, which resulted in shifts in family members’ perspectives of each other, an improvement in their relationships, and a reduction in concerns for Aria outside of the home.

  • Aria is 15 years old and lives at home with her mother, father and three older siblings (aged 17, 26 and 29). Aria was initially referred to FFT as there were concerns noted for her, both within and outside of the home. These included worries about her low school attendance, and her relationships with peers. Aria had spoken of having ‘youngers’ and was going ‘missing’ frequently. Professionals were also worried about the risks for Aria online.

    In the family’s own words, they spoke of having big arguments at home, where people would bring up each other’s past and following this, would not talk to each other for a few days. They spoke of not knowing how to communicate about their feelings properly, and therefore everyone’s anger would often blow up, leading them to hurt one another.

  • The focus of FFT work with this family was to improve the relationships between family members. It was hoped that if this was achieved, Aria may be less inclined to look for connection and acceptance in ways that are unsafe outside of the home.

    During FFT involvement, we looked at the patterns of communication in the family; we discussed how the family had learnt to cope with stressful events, by putting distance between themselves, not wanting to upset each other further. This might mean that Aria’s emotions would come out in unsafe ways and behaviours.

    Aria had a positive experience with her FFT therapist, who she described as 'really nice and friendly.' She appreciated that the therapist went the extra mile as she knew that Aria didn't like meeting new people, even bringing treats for her cats when they first met. Aria noticed that she and all of the family began feeling comfortable, even the cats. Aria said, "My big round cat takes a bit more time to get used to new people, so he was shy until the second session, but ended up loving my therapist.’

    Aria stated that the therapist understood the perspective of every family member and reminded each family member to be respectful and supportive towards any family member speaking about their feelings. She said, '[the therapist] genuinely showed a lot of love and respect to every person in the family and even the more distant people in the household liked her a lot. She genuinely helped a lot more than she’ll ever know.'

    According to family members, FFT taught them different methods on how to manage as a family, but also individually. The family spoke of how the communication and emotional regulation skills gave them ways to speak about problems in the family and handle things better without it escalating or exploding. They also mentioned the usefulness of practicing these with different scenarios.

  • We discussed what family members gained from FFT. They spoke of how they had experienced improvements at home, including Aria and her mother spending quality time together, listening to each other, giving space, and communicating how they feel over text.  Family members reported a reduction in conflict at home, particularly, that disagreements no longer escalated to physical violence. Finally, there have been no further missing episodes for Aria, and whilst Aria is not yet consistently attending school everyday, she has now managed to attend a couple days a week.

"My big round cat takes a bit more time to get used to new people, so he was shy until the second session, but ended up loving my therapist.’

FAMILY STORY 4

Norfolk March 2026

“I’ve learned things that help me get on better with my family.”

  • The Smith family comprised two parents and four children, ages ranging from 5years old to 12 years old.

  • The family were referred to FPM’s Stronger Families Norfolk service by their social worker. Children’s Services had worked alongside the family for a significant period of time, various interventions and support services had been delivered, however progress had not been sustained. As a result, the family were referred for a whole family therapeutic intervention.

    All family members were agreeable to engage with FFT‑CW and welcomed the opportunity to work collaboratively towards positive change.

    The family were experiencing relational challenges, particularly between Dad and the eldest son, who was 12 years old. Incidents of conflict typically escalated from dysregulation to overwhelm, resulting in verbal disagreements that affected the whole household, and had a detrimental impact on relationships.

    Without the Stronger Families intervention, there was potential for breakdown of family relationships, and ongoing involvement from statutory services.

    FFT-CW is a targeted, evidence-based intervention consisting of five phases: Engagement, Motivation, Relational Assessment, Behaviour Change (BC) and Generalisation (G). 

    Within the motivation phase, our goal is to decrease negativity, increase hopefulness and increase a family’s confidence in their ability to make changes. Motivation sessions helped to identify both helpful and unhelpful patterns of relating within the family.

    During motivation it was evident that parents were attempting to provide comfort and reassurance to their children. They were also ensuring school attendance was consistent, and all children were meeting development milestones.

    In addition to the strengths, all family members were experiencing difficulties with emotional regulation and communication, Mum and Dads different parenting styles created challenges for an aligned consistent approach.

    Within the behaviour change phase plan is developed, and we work together to help improve relationships within the family and to create positive change by building on family strengths. We help the family to (re)learn and practice skills and strategies to understand their own and other’s emotions, communicate and listen to one another’s views, perspectives and negotiate family life together. We also think about how the family can connect with each other matching to their preferred relational style.

    Skills introduced to support the family included:

    ·        Emotional awareness and language

    ·        Emotional regulation and co-regulation

    ·        Communication and negotiation skills

    CBT AND DBT informed approaches were used to support the development of skills.

    In Generalisation, we build on the family’s progress and consider how they can continue to apply their newly acquired skills within and outside the family context. We collaborate with the family and those within their network to identify ongoing sources of support that enable them to maintain and continue to make positive changes. Generalisation sessions also focus on developing a sustainability plan to support the family with staying on track and/or getting back on track. 

    The family engaged exceptionally well throughout the intervention, completing nineteen sessions across six months. They demonstrated commitment to each other by completing tasks in-between sessions and working hard to embed the new strategies into daily life.

  • Following the intervention the whole family reports improved communication and an increased ability to manage disagreements without escalation. Dad and the eldest son are able to spend meaningful time together with significantly improved relationships.

    The family reflected positively on their progress:

    Dad: “The biggest difference has been my increased confidence and working with someone who does not judge us.”

    Mum: “We have been able to be ourselves and not worry about being judged.”

    Son-12years old: “I’ve learned things that help me get on better with my family.”

    The family’s social worker reported that risks and needs within the family had decreased, with an expectation that pending the outcome of a private proceedings matter, that the family would be closing to Childrens Services. 

“The biggest difference has been my increased confidence and working with someone who does not judge us.””

FAMILY STORY 5

Suffolk - Feb 2026

“We’ve had lots of professionals and support before but not like this, this is different. I felt listened to and understood"

  • Children and Young People’s Services (CYPS) involvement with family A, comprising of young person B aged 8 and Mum C, began during Mum’s pregnancy in 2017. Support was provided to Mum throughout her pregnancy, and B was subject to Child Protection planning. Shortly after B’s birth in 2017, she became subject to an Interim Care Order, The family were supported through mother and baby foster placements and supported accommodation during this time. CYPS involvement from this period concluded in May 2018 when the Supervision Order ended, with the closing summary noting that Mum and her partner were supported by their families and able to provide safe and consistent care for B.

    Between 2018 and 2023, there were several referrals that did not result in ongoing Social Care involvement, including incidents reported by the Police and neighbour-related concerns. The family received support from Early Help services during this time. In April 2023, following reports of B witnessing distressing adult behaviour at home, a Social Work Assessment was completed, and the case was subsequently stepped down to Early Help in June 2023. Further concerns in late 2023 and 2024, including disclosures from B and school reports, led to a combination of Section 47 investigations and ongoing Child in Need planning. These interventions included safety planning at school and support for positive parenting at home. The family was closed to Social Care in November 2024 but re-referred in June 2025 following concerns captured on school CCTV of physical restraint.

    Since this time, Mum C has engaged positively with CYPS, Stronger Families and a Family Support Practitioner to support her relationship with B, with ongoing monitoring and reviews through Child in Need meetings.

  • Verbal and physical conflict and episodes of running away.

    Threats to harm to others from young person when the young person was dysregulated.  

    Concerns with Mums response to “B’s” emotional dysregulation, which could result in restraining and physically chastising B in order to remain safe, out of desperation.

    Behavioural Pattern assessed regarding referral reasons

    Young persons experiences situations such as last-minute changes, leaving mum, unexpected visitors in home or being told she cannot do something but not understanding why. These all resulted in young person feeling unsafe or misunderstood

    Due to busyness of life, sometimes Mum would not notice this or would struggle to understand her

    To try to get heard the young person would escalate (shouting, kicking, biting)

    Mum would react impulsively and out of desperation would try to use every technique / strategy to try regulating her the best that she could but at these times Mum may not have always been regulated herself which would impact the delivery and experience of this for them both as a family.

    When things were not working Mum would sometimes withdraw or get frustrated and try to physically restrain young person.

    Young person would resist this as they were also dysregulated and they could both end up hurt and exhausted.

  • In an early session a theme was shared with the family to support them with understanding what was happening in their family… “B, do you remember when you make a bracelet with all your favourite beads? You line them up, one by one, and it starts to look really special. But sometimes — just when you're nearly finished, you ask mum to help you tie it but sometimes the string slips and some beads roll away. That can feel so frustrating! And other times, the whole bracelet might fall apart, and it feels like all your hard work is gone. A bit like when we have big emotions spill out and then when something big happens again, it can feel extra hard — because you've been trying so hard for it not to. Sometimes, you can take a deep breath and manage those big emotions, and other times it can feel like the bracelet breaks and all the beads — those big feelings — spill everywhere. That can feel really tough for both of you. For Mum, it can be hard to know when “B” wants help and when she wants to do things on her own. Sometimes “B” can tie the knot just fine, and other times the thread slips and things come undone again. But here's the good thing — your beads aren't lost. You still have them all — all the care, fun, and effort you put in. You just need a moment to pick them up and start again. And every time you do, you get better at keeping them together. and that's where with our work the more we practise ways of managing those little spills the more you'll both learn how to fix it together. And each time, your bracelet — and your teamwork — gets stronger".

    Therefore, following this understanding of the family, the next phase was focused on introducing skills to support with this pattern, the risk factors and the referral reasons.

  • Zones of regulation to support with emotional literacy (body mapping), emotion regulation (grounding, mindfulness) and a shared language of emotions.

    Invisible string to support with transitions which were a particular trigger for the behavioural pattern

  • Reward Charts

  • Use of role play, games, scenarios, nonverbal communication, creative arts. Alongside coaching and support from the therapist building on the skills each week.

  • Most risks had reduced, so the focus was to embed the skills to support with sustainability of the positive changes that have been made.

    A focus on generalisation of skills in different scenarios. These were role played throughout the final generalisation sessions to build confidence and mastery in these skills. Supporting the family to feel prepared for any future stressors.

    1. What is your overall experience of the service and your therapist?

    Young person– “Great, amazing, helpful”

    Mum – “Amazing, couldn’t fault the support from Shannon and we loved our sessions”.

    2.   What difference has Stronger Families made to you and your family?

    Young person – “Helped me stay calmer and me and mum have changed lots in a good way”

    Mum – “Made us a stronger family unit and happier”

    3.   What would you say to other young people and their families if they were considering Stronger Families support?

    Young person – “Definitely go for it, it’s really good and if you get Shannon you are really lucky”.

    Mum – “Go for it, it’s been a massive help and made our family so much stronger. We’ve had lots of professionals and support before but not like this, this is different. I felt listened to and the sessions have been specific for what me and “B” need. Shannon has really understood us and helped us come up with new ways of dealing things and been really understanding”.

    4.   What was the most useful part of the intervention?

    Young person – “Reward chart, having clear routine and rewards has helped me a lot and invisible string so I’m not so worried leaving mum. I also have learnt ways to stay calm that I didn’t know before. It’s ok to be in red zone, I’m not an angry person, I just need a bit of help to calm down and can do this in different ways”.

    Mum – “Invisible string – now no kick off’s when leaving each other and has been huge in helping transitions. Shannon also got us the book and we thought about what would work best for our family and tried lots of different things before we found what works best – we didn’t give up just adapted.”

    5.   What would you change or improve about the service?

    Young person – “Nothing”

    Mum – “Nothing, unless we could have longer”

    6.   What is the one thing you are going to remember most from working with us?

    Young person – “How nice you are and the fun we’ve had”

    Mum – “How much fun we’ve had, the resources we’ve been given, the techniques we now have in our toolbox. Felt heard from the beginning and you have worked with “B”  in an engaging way and adapted to our learning needs. Was good to practise and see what worked for us rather than being told what to do. I struggle to read and write so you helped by bringing visuals or practical things which others have not done before. Even when things have felt silly or uncomfortable we gave them a go and realised how good it is to try practise rather than just talk. Usually “B” will hide away or not engage with professionals but she has engaged in every session of stronger families and I think this is down to how the sessions were done and the relationship we built with you. Can’t thank you enough, you’ve been a superstar and we wish you could stay longer”.

    7.   What they had to put into the work in order for it to be helpful to them? –

    Mum – “to trust the process and use the skills when things are good – not just in a panic” 

smiling woman with man and child looking at a tablet

OUTCOME

No running away or missing episodes since commencing FFT. One incident of physical conflict involving biting. However, physical conflict has reduced significantly in its frequency and intensity. B’s school attendance improved and school have seen significant progress in her behaviours and attitude to learning. Suspensions have greatly reduced. Threats to harm others behaviour is no longer present. No physical chastisement from Mum during the intervention. Social Worker has named that there are no ongoing safeguarding risks for B and following the completion of S7 they will be closed to Social Care involvement.

“FFT made us a stronger family unit and happier”

FAMILY STORY 6

Tower hamlets March 2026

“I was so glad we had this opportunity.”

  • This case study is a description of a family’s experience of FFT. This has been anonymised.

    15-year-old Zayne lives with his three younger siblings and his parents. Zayne had been experiencing bullying in the community and at school, which escalated to an incident between Zayne and his peers in which Zayne was arrested for having a knife in his possession. As a result, social services and youth justice became involved. It was a shock to all of the family when Zayne was arrested, as they had never experienced anything like this before, and they were worried about Zayne being hurt or getting into trouble. The family were referred to FFT by their social worker who explained that FFT might help.

  • Before the family started FFT, it was a difficult time for the family. Zayne was keeping things to himself rather than sharing what was going on for him, because he didn’t want his mum to worry. Zayne tried to take matters into his own hands rather than cause his family more stress. The family were feeling angry and frustrated at each other because of the situation. Zayne’s mother Sara shared how the sessions helped the family to navigate the worry and anger they felt towards each other at the start of the sessions. Sara shared “you guys showed us how to handle it. We learnt that anger never gave us solution.”

    During the sessions, the family were supported to communicate in ways that reduced conflict at home. The family learnt how to negotiate and discuss things without communication escalating to arguments that pushed the family apart. The family practiced this in the sessions with the support of their therapist. Sara shared how she “learnt so many things. So did my children.”

    Sara felt that FFT helped her children to understand their feelings, and to share these with each other. She said, “You helped us talk and listen to each other. Listening is so important; children often don’t share their feelings because they get told off by parents or are told that their parents are always right. Before I was stubborn and thought I was always right. The therapy helped changed my perspective and helped me listen to my kids. You never stop learning.”

  • The family shared that since completing FFT, their relationships have improved and they are working better as a team. Zayne had no further involvement with police or with other services after completing FFT. Sara expressed her gratitude, saying “I was so glad we had this opportunity.” Both Zayne and Sara shared that they have a closer relationship now.

    Sara would like other families to know that they do not need to be afraid to work with FFT. “I know families can be scared of social workers and of services. But this service helps children and I want people to know how much the therapists can help you. There are always things you can learn. Other families can benefit the same way I did. You are going to learn so many things; it makes a huge difference.”

    The family reflected positively on their progress:

    Dad: “The biggest difference has been my increased confidence and working with someone who does not judge us.”

    Mum: “We have been able to be ourselves and not worry about being judged.”

    Son-12years old: “I’ve learned things that help me get on better with my family.”

    The family’s social worker reported that risks and needs within the family had decreased, with an expectation that pending the outcome of a private proceedings matter, that the family would be closing to Childrens Services. 

“I know families can be scared of social workers and of services. But this service helps children and I want people to know how much the therapists can help you. There are always things you can learn. Other families can benefit the same way I did. You are going to learn so many things; it makes a huge difference.”

FAMILY STORY 7

Suffolk - March 2026

Hollie came along and accepted us as we were.

  • We were working with a social worker, under the support of a ‘child in need plan' and we had made positive changes. We had been through care proceedings with the local authority where we used to live, and it had been ordered that the girls Rose (13) and Daisy (8) should live with us (me, my husband, our 3-year-old son and my older son, 18), under a Supervision Order. 

    Things had become tricky before Christmas 2024. Rose and Daisy went to spend time with their dad and ended up staying for several months in an unplanned way. It was difficult getting them back home to us and once they returned, there were a lot of big emotions. They were clear that they would rather be with their dad, than us. This is likely because we had done, and were continuing to ‘do the work’ and make the right changes for all of us. We were free from alcohol and drugs (over 2 years clean), we had a stable home, we were both working and we had a good relationship with the social worker, who had been supportive, and the school, where Pete now worked, as a midday supervisor.  

    However, we were all struggling with emotions, I (mum) have ADHD and bi-polar disorder and have experienced a lot of trauma, as a child and as an adult, as a result of parental drug misuse, chaotic lifestyles and domestic abuse. Pete had just lost his mum. Rose was struggling living in a more rural setting, having come from a city, attending school, and with her emotions towards me. Daisy had a lot of trauma from her early years, from both me and her dad, where we were both using drugs. We also suspect that she has a neurodiversity and is awaiting an assessment to help us better understand her needs. We were uncertain of our future as a family.  

  • Hollie came along and accepted us as we were. We were messy, crying during the first visit because we’d just had an upset with lots of emotions. We were busy and loud, and we let her see us as we were.  

    Hollie explained that she thought some of our difficulties were because we were each trying to manage each other’s distress. I struggled with the everyday difficulties, like the children not responding to basic requests and I felt like I was the aggravating factor in the house, so I worked lots, as I felt the house was calmer without me. Pete struggled with the bigger upsets. Daisys overwhelm would become too much and she would scream, shout, hit and damage things and it wasn’t always clear why she was so distressed. Rose struggled to even talk to me because she was so angry at me. Then Pete and I had our younger son, Jake (3), who was experiencing difficulties with his speech and was also becoming frustrated and angry, at times. 

    Hollie explained that she was going to support us to understand emotions and develop our skills around our ability to manage distress, for ourselves and each other. We were reintroduced to ‘The Zones of Regulation’ and although the school use it and we had some information about it, the way Hollie explained it was so completely different. She took the time to really explore what emotions we experienced in each zone and then helped us to express which zone we were in and be curious with, and for the children, about which zone they were in, in a non-blaming way. This helped us all to become more aware of our emotions and even our 3 year old was telling us which zone he was in, and at times, telling us when we were in the red zone. This made us really laugh with pride at his awareness and reflect on our behaviour as well.   

    Hollie then supported us to explore different ways to regulate these emotions and gave us different skills for different zones. Hollie gave us ways to express how we felt, give meaning to emotions and then supported us to share what we needed with ‘I statements’. She told us about our 'wise mind' and how regulating our emotions helped us to be in our ‘wise mind’ more often. Some of the worksheets she gave us in sessions really helped me to get my thoughts out and share them with Pete in a way that didn’t lead to an upset because I was slowing down my reactions. 

    We all had our own strengths, and we started learning from each other, as one person picked up a skill more easily than the other.  

      

    The session about negative thinking traps was emotional, because I held such guilt about the situations that we had been in and the upset that had been caused. However, it allowed us to speak honestly to each other and realise that sometimes we behave in ways that can relate to our guilt about something that happened years ago, rather than being mindful and compassionate towards ourself in that moment.  

    Some of the skills, like the zones of regulation and mindfulness, were already familiar to us, however we hadn’t embedded them into our everyday routines. However, with Hollies persistence we grew in confidence and now use lots of the skills she brought to us, like mindful breathing, challenging negative thoughts and the TIPP skill. We didn't always recognise when we are using a skill, but when we reflected on our journey with Hollie, everyone was able to share how frequently the skills were being used. 

  • We have seen that as we have taken the lead in regulating our own emotions and taking ownership over our behaviours, Daisy and our 3 year old have developed more regulating behaviours and will often go and find something comforting to sooth themselves or show us which zone they are in, letting us know that they need some support with their emotions. 

    Things are so much better, we rarely have big upsets now, but when we do, they don’t get as big and they don’t last as long.  We have had bumps along the way, and at the time they felt like big setbacks, but what we have realised is that we have the skills within ourselves now to overcome the difficulties and have developed a network of support to hold us during times of need without the need of a social worker.   

  • What is the overall experience of the service and your therapist?  

    Mum and Dad – “Quality – very positive and thought provoking”.  

    What difference has Stronger Families made to you and your family?  

    Daisy – “At first I had trouble holding my anger in, but now I have a way of managing it.” 

    Mum – “Everything in life is easier”  

    What would you say to other young people and their families if they were considering Stronger Families support? 

    Daisy – “I think it’s a good choice.” 

    Mum – “It will change your life.”  

    What was the most useful part of the intervention?  

    Daisy – “working on my emotions by using breath work and colouring.” 

    Mum – “using breath work.”  

We have seen that as we have taken the lead in regulating our own emotions and taking ownership over our behaviours, Daisy and our 3 year old have developed more regulating behaviours and will often go and find something comforting to sooth themselves or show us which zone they are in, letting us know that they need some support with their emotions.

FAMILY STORY 8

Haringey September 2026

Jay is no longer regularly staying out late into the night and no further incidence of offending.

  • The referral stated Jay has been going missing since May 2023 and has been involved in various offences include theft and robbery, possession of bladed article and assault.  Jay was staying at his grandparents’ house the plan was for him to return home on when he was due to be sentenced at Court to a Community Order. There is a lack of space/privacy at home, resulting in Jay not wanting to be there and so he is often out late which heightens his mother’s anxiety.

    Mums deep concern for Jay’s well-being stems from a place of love and a desire to keep him safe. However, when guiding Jay her worry can manifest as preaching and guilt-tripping when she can feel underappreciated in her role as a mother. Feeling misunderstood, Jay withdraws to create distance and space for himself and his family as he feels judged that he is the source of her pain. In these moments, he may lash out externally to regain a sense of control over a situation that makes him feel powerless.

    Jay’s siblings also worry about Mums health and struggle with how to support her without adding to the tension in the home. Their reactions of distancing themselves and hiding their - comes from a place of care as they do not want to add to mum’s burden. Mum in turn, may interpret these behaviours as a lack of concern as they appear detached, when the children are simply overwhelmed and unsure of how to help.

  • These patterns of interactions, while challenging, stem from a place of deep care and concern for one another. This cycle of misunderstanding and withdrawn responses intensifies the family's emotional pain. When difficult feelings are avoided or left unspoken, they tend to bubble up in unpredictable and unhealthy ways. A metaphor of turning the stove down was used to prevent water from boiling over was to illustrate how frequent open communication and empathetic listening can create a safe space for family members to better understand each other's perspectives and emotional needs.

    The behaviour change plan focused on developing two key skills: speaking without criticism and listening with genuine understanding. We taught family members how to express themselves in ways that wouldn't trigger defensiveness or blame, while simultaneously building their capacity to listen deeply and validate each other's perspectives. This dual approach created positive communication experiences where speakers felt heard, and listeners gained genuine insight into others' viewpoints.

  • Additionally, we introduced a structured framework for handling sensitive or potentially volatile topics, allowing family members to give and receive feedback without triggering shame or withdrawal. This comprehensive approach helped prevent communication breakdowns during challenging conversations and ensured that important messages could be both expressed and received constructively, ultimately fostering a more supportive and understanding family dynamic. Mum spoke really eloquently about how much FFT had helped and how they had learnt ‘LUV Listening’ (Listening to Understand and Validate).  She went into considerable detail about how the therapist had introduced a ‘listening stick’ and that this prop had really helped them as a family to take turns to really listen and understand one another’s perspective rather than reacting immediately.  She said that before she would shout in frustrated response to her son but now she listens and is understanding his life better.

    ·   Jay communicates with mum more, particularly when outside the home. He became more able to share his feelings with family and professional network.

    ·  Jay is no longer regularly staying out late into the night and no further incidence of offending. Trust has been built where mum allows Jay to have friends over to the house.

    ·  Jay is back in education.

    ·  Mum is better able to listen to her children and validate their perspectives.

The therapist had introduced a ‘listening stick’ and that this prop had really helped them as a family to take turns to really listen and understand one another’s perspective rather than reacting immediately.